You know what the secret is don’t you?
It is to make people smile.
I learned this when I had a job which required me to go door to door selling things. Simply, people buy from their friends. So I would tell joke, make them smile, and then they would buy.
It always makes me cringe when I see the boot camp instructor types. They raise their voice, show a low emotional tone level, and people sweat…but the quality of their art is usually pretty bad.
When I teach, you would be shocked at some of the things I say. I insult people, but in a way that makes them laugh. I grin when I upbraid a student, so that he gets it, but he is not caved in, so that he feels the honey, and people are more willing to absorb honey than vinegar.
Why do I upbraid them in the first place? To thicken their skin, to make them immune to bad words and curses.
If I can make them laugh when I call them a blankety blank, then when somebody on the street calls them that they aren’t going to respond, but rather just grin.
Anyway, that’s the secret, enjoy, and use as you can.